Overall, my progress will not be exciting to me until I break past the plateau I was at last year at 155lbs. If I stick with this diet I know I'll get back there and need to push myself to get down to my first major goal weight of 140lbs. I'm not even thinking about 120 or 110 right now because that goal is too far away to be realistic at the moment. I'll make that a goal when the time is right. In the meantime, I've got 140 on my mind. Well, 150 for the first major cardio regime, then at 140 it's time for a personal trainer until I've reached 110-120.
In the last 30 days I've gone from ~172 to ~168, give or take. So that's the 1lb per week I've wanted to lose. Slow and steady wins the race! However this chart which shows where I had got to the last "get healthy" go round is a bit disheartening, as I still have a long way to go to get back to that weight:
The good thing about my Withings Wifi Scale is that I can easily see the progress now that I weigh myself daily. It's definitely interesting to see how much my weight fluctuates. Also if I get down to goal weight I want to continue daily weigh ins so I don't let this happen again... like when I was at 120lbs and thought I could just start eating taco bell for lunch every day with a small coke. I'm so pissed at myself for botching my weight loss in my early 20s but I get another chance in my early 30s. This is going to happen no matter what.
For the next two weeks I'm on vacation which is a major challenge for remaining healthy. Luckily my boyfriend is also focused on getting healthy and helping me be healthy, so it shouldn't be too bad. We just need to refrain from ordering dessert when we're out (a challenge for both of us!)
... I went to the mall today to try on dresses for a wedding I'm attending next week. I felt so awful looking at myself in the mirror in these size 12 dresses. I didn't end up buying anything (which is probably for the better, I own enough dresses that quasi fit, I don't need another) but ultimately after trying on a good 30 dresses I just felt so down about myself. I wondered if I'd even look decent once I lost the weight... even though I still look rather young I don't really like my face. I guess it was ok back when I was 120lbs and it thinned out a bit, so I'm trying to remain optimistic. Right now I can't stand looking at myself. I know I'm being immature to be so obsessed with my looks but I grew up in a family where looks mattered a lot so I'm just embarrassed by how I look. Not one dress fit right.
Oh well, I have to reward myself for making progress and forget where I was previously because I had to start from scratch (180lbs) so being down to 168 is an accomplishment, even though there is a ways to go. I'll get to 155 if I can stick to this for 13 more weeks. So by October 17 I should be at 155... where I started last year (GAH.) Then I have one year until I get married to really kick my ass. Maybe I'll take up crossfit or something. I want to look and feel my best at my wedding so whatever it takes, no matter how much I hate it, it is going to happen. Otherwise wedding dress shopping is just going to suck the soul out of anyone who tries to help me. :)
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